Chick peas and fresh bacon bits.

Bacon is among the most parsimonious of meats. By slicing thin, one maximizes the surface area of the food, and therefore the taste and texture one experiences while eating, while simultaneously minimizing contact with its deleterious effects on both the body and production environments.

I often say "reducing counts", but I wonder if the ethical objection to meat can really accept such an argument. However much or little of the factory-farmed animal you eat, it suffers the same. Ethical responsibility is not diluted when shared between more consumers. Losing your life feels no better when you lose it in a smaller group.

I suspect that the environmental argument against meat is more amenable to this strategy. Less pollution is decidedly better than less in far more circumstances.

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Cultured meat - "vat-grown", if you will - would theoretically satisfy the ethical argument of vegetarianism by virtue of the fact that, though an animal (part), it does not suffer. It's not sentient. The nerves don't transmit anywhere.

Would that make it a plant?

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Whenever you drain a can of chick peas, does anyone else get the INSTANT URGE to just grab a bunch and MOW? Something about that protein-y smell just activates my appetite.